Find Your Voice — Negotiating Like A Pro

We’ve heard and read it a thousand times; women are seen as nurturing and empathetic, while men tend to be perceived as more assertive and competitive. As a result, society expects men and women to behave differently at the negotiation table. But the truth is, the rules of negotiation are the same for everyone. So why don’t we act like it?

Linda Babcock, Professor, and former Dean at Carnegie Mellon University did a study for her book Women Don’t Ask, in which she found men initiate negotiations about four times as often as women. She also reported that 20 percent of adult women say they never negotiate at all, even though they often recognize negotiation as appropriate and even necessary.  Negotiation is an essential skill if you want to be able to advocate for yourself in the workplace; whether it be for a higher salary, consideration for a promotion or different working conditions. The key to finding your voice at work is the same for everyone: increase your visibility, be prepared, and communicate your value with confidence.

Increase Your Visibility

Let’s be honest, the likelihood of your name coming up when opportunities are discussed is better when people know who you are. Showing up and expressing genuine interest can open doors to negotiations that may seem impossible at first, but become all the more probable when you make yourself visible. While it may seem daunting (especially for us introverted ladies), approach it with intention.

• Start with regular communication: Talk to your supervisor and your colleagues about your desires for your own future. Make your thoughts known. This creates opportunities for transparent conversations, ensuring people that can help us know where and how we want to be helped.

• Back this up with action: Volunteer for projects or tasks to showcase your capabilities. This will allow you to take on more experiences as well as interact with more people to build your network. Not only will you illustrate to your team what you can accomplish, but it can raise your profile beyond your immediate team and contribute to a more wide-spread positive reputation.

• Keep track of your accomplishments: Be sure to know what you’ve done (and maybe haven’t done) to improve on your own performance. Give yourself the facts you need when it comes time to start the negotiation conversation. Personally, I find this exercise also reassures me that I am indeed doing a great job and it boosts my confidence when it comes time to prepare for my negotiation.

Be Prepared

Regardless of gender, preparation is crucial for successful negotiations. Research the negotiation topic thoroughly, gather data, and develop a clear strategy. Are you advocating for a promotion or raise? You need to know what your personal stats are on performance and contributions as well as what the industry publishes around those topics. Do you want to change something about your working conditions? Gather information on the impacts of no change at all on performance, enablement, goals etc. Research the benefits of the new working condition. Look for industry examples, articles and statistics.

Once you have prepared your story, test it out.  Role-play different scenarios with mentors, peers, or advisors to improve your skills and confidence. It will also help you think through and refine your arguments. Seek out mentorship from someone you know who has successfully negotiated for themselves — ask them what worked for them and what didn’t. It’s a great opportunity to learn from the experiences of others.

Communicate Your Value with Confidence

Now, it’s time to have the negotiation conversation. By this point, people know who you are, what you want, and you have a story to bring to the table — It’s time to gather confidence and go for it! Schedule a meeting with the decision maker and explain why what you're asking for is justified and appropriate. Walk through your talking points with confidence and execute on those different scenarios you practiced. When questions arise, use the performance data and industry research to respond. If you don’t have a response, don’t be afraid to say, “that’s a good point, let me look into that.”

I want to be clear; it might not work the first time, but don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Legendary actress Carrie Fisher once said "Everything is negotiable. Whether or not the negotiation is easy is another thing.” She was an amazing actress and talent, but she had to work for what she wanted. It’s going to take some effort on your part as well. You don’t have to accept your circumstances as they are, but it truly is up to you to take the action to make things better. As Carrie Fisher also said; "There is no point at which you can say, 'Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap.'"

Written by: Holly Gough